AN EPIPHANY

so i had an epiphany tonight, realize i av been deceiving myself for far too long.
there is a guy i av been fucking. it started like just a fling and somewhere along the line,i got interested.
i expected him to ask me out,which he dint and when i asked why, he said, he wasnt ready for a relationship,all he wanted was sex........and i accepted that
i cant lie, the sex was amazing, i feel alive after the sex, so i guess datz why i dint mind dat all he wanted was sex, coz datz all i wanted....
then slowly i started to like him a lil bit more than i was supposed to and i started getting jealous....... not a good feeling i must say...
he got interested in this girl,and that is when i started to notice that,he dint respect me or care @all for me,to him it was all abt the sex, i cant really blame him,dat was the agreement... bt just bcoz it is just sex doesnt mean u shudnt respect one another
anyways,so i turned a blind eye to how he behaved,we can b fucking and he'll pick up a call from another chick or chicks (u can imagine)...... or he'll practically chase me away claiming to av important things to do.
as for me, for someone who has pride herself too much in being wise wen it comes the guys, i av been totally stupid.......
why wont he jump on the new chick, when he has bled me dry of everything he wants from me?
how can he respect me when there is nutin to respect? how can he care when he has already gotten all he wanted from me?
i av slept with alot of guys and never given a fuck for any, i dont kw why this one gets to me so much........
so im thinking, it is time to make changes,it is time to get over it....
even tho the sex is like a drug, dat im totally addicted to, but is it worth being treated like rag for?
is it worth losing my pride and dignity for?
HELL NO!!!
i dont think so, so i can decided dat enough is enough!!!
if he is not going to respect me, then i shouldnt be the sex stand anymore......
i shouldnt b the chick he calls where he cant get laid by the chick he is chasing now....
i shudnt b the chick dat warms he bed.....
i dont know why it has taken me this long to realize it, but im happy i av....... now all i av to do is move on from here
perhaps,i should take break from sex in general, i av been having sex for fun, maybe it is time to get serious.....